It never fails to suck cock again

swear I'm done with this shit every single time. Like actually done. Last week I even went as far as deleting the folder, told myself I'd try with this girl from the bar again, maybe actually follow through instead of chickening out halfway. Then the urge hit on a Tuesday night and here I am on my knees again. The carpet in my room's this cheap beige thing that always leaves these little red marks on my knees after. I'm wearing the white lace panties I bought two months ago, the ones with the little bow on the back, and nothing else except the matching bra that keeps riding up my chest. She's on her back against my pillows, legs spread, phone in one hand still scrolling through whatever she was looking at before I got between her thighs. My mouth's full of her cock and I can taste that clean soapy smell from her shower earlier mixed with something warmer underneath. I keep thinking about how stupid the whole thing looks from outside. Guy in women's underwear giving head to another guy who looks like any regular chick you'd see at the grocery store. Except she's got her hand resting on my head now, not pushing exactly, just kind of holding me there like she's making sure I don't get any ideas about stopping. The pink text overlay on the video says "AGAIN" in all caps and I keep catching myself reading it over and over while I'm down here. The worst part is how automatic it all feels now. I didn't even plan this tonight. I was just gonna watch for a minute, maybe edge a little, go to bed. Then I'm texting her at midnight and she's showing up in her jeans and hoodie like it's nothing. Like she's used to this routine too. She pulled her jeans off and I was already on the floor before she even asked. My jaw's starting to ache but I don't want to stop either. That's the part that pisses me off the most. Every time I tell myself it's the last one, every time I think maybe I've got it out of my system for good. Then something clicks and I'm right back here with my lips stretched around her and my own cock straining against the lace. She shifts her hips a little and I have to adjust my angle. The bra strap digs into my shoulder. I can hear her breathing change but she's still got that phone in her hand, barely paying attention. Like this is just something that happens on weeknights now. Like I'm just part of the furniture in her evening routine. I keep telling myself I'll stop after this. Swear to god this is the last time.